Dear Mr & Mrs Twit,
It is Valentine’s Day today.
I can’t help but quiver with wonder and excitement thinking about what is in stored for the both of you.
Could it be a special heart shaped braid for Mr Twit’s magnificently grotesque beard?
Or a bright red rose for Mrs Twit, with petals that are actually flattened toad tongues?
Oh the incredible mist of trepidation.
Isn’t it exhilarating Mr & Mrs Twit?
Just imagine for second if you will indulge me.
When a pail of pickled platypuses’ perspiration, comes raining from the sky in all its glory.
And how sinister it would be if that would unleash a hoard of ‘Skillywigglers’?
Why, that poor soul would have absolutely no clothes left once they were done.
Ah, this calls for something far more special than the glass eye or the wormy spaghetti.
Both brilliant ideas I might add, but on this day, it will be your masterpiece.
One that will leave a strange and unsightly wart on the face of the world for all to see.
Maybe the "Hug-Tight Sticky Glue" will have another part to play in this endeavor.
At the end of it all, I must say, the love you have for each other is undeniably unique.
Cherish this day as you would each and every day of the rest of your lives with each other.
Well there is still that nasty little thing about you two still being stuck on your heads but remember this,
Love conquers all.
I’d bet you’d even had cute little upside down baby twits.
Just as hideous and horrible as your beautiful selves are.
Couldn’t have been a better time to appreciate this day and celebrate its practicality together.
Always with much unpleasant love,
Zon
It is Valentine’s Day today.
I can’t help but quiver with wonder and excitement thinking about what is in stored for the both of you.
Could it be a special heart shaped braid for Mr Twit’s magnificently grotesque beard?
Or a bright red rose for Mrs Twit, with petals that are actually flattened toad tongues?
Oh the incredible mist of trepidation.
Isn’t it exhilarating Mr & Mrs Twit?
Just imagine for second if you will indulge me.
When a pail of pickled platypuses’ perspiration, comes raining from the sky in all its glory.
And how sinister it would be if that would unleash a hoard of ‘Skillywigglers’?
Why, that poor soul would have absolutely no clothes left once they were done.
Ah, this calls for something far more special than the glass eye or the wormy spaghetti.
Both brilliant ideas I might add, but on this day, it will be your masterpiece.
One that will leave a strange and unsightly wart on the face of the world for all to see.
Maybe the "Hug-Tight Sticky Glue" will have another part to play in this endeavor.
At the end of it all, I must say, the love you have for each other is undeniably unique.
Cherish this day as you would each and every day of the rest of your lives with each other.
Well there is still that nasty little thing about you two still being stuck on your heads but remember this,
Love conquers all.
I’d bet you’d even had cute little upside down baby twits.
Just as hideous and horrible as your beautiful selves are.
Couldn’t have been a better time to appreciate this day and celebrate its practicality together.
Always with much unpleasant love,
Zon